The Feeling Is Real

By: Skinner J.Tyler

Black and white scenery image during the winter
Black & White

For many years now I have suffered from an illness known as depression. It is a horrible experience that I still suffer from today. I wake up throughout the night, from nightmares and strange dreams. There are days where I cannot eat or even get out of bed.

This illness has taken it’s toll and with the anxiety, it has been a ungodly experience. If anyone has suffered from this issue, they know exactly what I am talking about. There are many types of treatment but sometimes it feels as though this isn’t the best alternative. It’s been a rough experience.

The star from the Rider Waite Tarot Deck edited in black and white sketches
The Star

After trying medication to help treat this illness, I’ve been trying to come off of it. This hasn’t been easy since I experience withdrawal symptoms that will leave me feeling sick and unwell. Tonight has been a horrible experience as I wake up feeling miserable and this is not me.

I was always a happy go lucky guy who worked hard and did what I had to, to get by. I don’t need a whole lot of money to live and I often enjoyed working. I enjoyed sailing the seas as a mariner and even got the chance to see the North Pole. My life’s been made up of great experiences but latly I have been lost.

Edited image of a Lava lamp 2022
Edited Lava Lamp 2022

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I’ll get through it I’m sure but with struggle comes dealing with issues of what causes me to feel like this. It’s been a rough road but one I must walk on to get to the next point. The next step to getting better.

It is not always easy when battling a mental illness such as this one. I have been searching for a safe, organic approach, that would allow me to avoid using medication all together. This is easier said than done of course and requires a huge amount of effort. It can be dark at times and I feel as if I have been lost in the chaos.

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